FILM & STAGE

RADIO & TV

Film

 

 Having written screenplays for the US and UK markets, I became inspired to produce a film of my own when rubbing shoulders with film-makers, usually of the inventive guerilla variety.

 

Although having no working knowledge of the film world, I had crewed on ten commercial productions as sound man and camera assistant. These were small productions making short safety first and induction videos.

 

Nonetheless, they had the elements of a movie: script, director, producer, actors, camera, sound recording equipment, lights, and location sets. And finally, an editor to cut it all together, and add music and effects as appropriate.

 

So what could be difficult about going it alone? Here’s the result!

 

Gobsmacked!

Sometimes stopping is the only way to get anywhere.

 

 GOBSMACKED, Adj Brit. Slang. To be speechless with amazement. From GOB, n. 16th Cent. Irish for mouth, and SMACK, vb. Anglo-Saxon, to strike with open hand.

 

Gobsmacked, Adj Brit. Slang. To be speechless with amazement. From GOB, n. 16th Cent. Irish for mouth, and SMACK, vb. Anglo-Saxon, to strike with open hand.

When bossy feminist bus driver, Sandra, drives to town in her old country bus, with Granddad and Richmond on their weekly trip to the cinema, games freak Pilkie going to a mega cyber show, macho Tash off to a soccer championship, and dreamy teenage Denise with her fantasy phone calls to rock superstar Vince Marsh – it seems like an ordinary Saturday.

 

But when devious businessman Choker, on his way to a power lunch with his spoilt daughter Juliet,nearly knocks down pregnant Maggie, waiting for the bus, and when Sandra crashes into Choker’s classic car – the day is far from ordinary.

 

Especially when Walter, an eccentric folk dancing hitch-hiker, joins them. They are all reluctantly forced to spend the day together on a deserted country road.But can they tolerate each other’s company until a rescue bus arrives?

Mrs. H of Baker Street

 

This is a comic twist on the traditional Conan Doyle setting of 221B Baker Street seen from the point of view of landlady Mrs. Hudson and her Cockney maid, Fanny-Annie Grubbins.

 

Unbeknownst to Sherlock Holmes, they solve various mysteries of their own, using as much deduction and cunning as he does. But it is their feminine intuition that usually wins the day.

 

They also foil attempts on Holmes’ life, including bombs, poisonous spiders and snakes through the letterbox, as they go about their busy Victorian lives, looking after their two odd lodgers, Holmes and Dr. Watson.

 

Mrs. H is passionately in love with Watson but he is terrified of her, being a timid bachelor-type devoted only to Holmes and his work. Fanny-Annie is suspicious of Watson and overawed by Holmes.

 

After solving a trifling affair with a missing husband and his wife’s jewels, they unmask the nasty bottom pinching Jack the Nipper. Then, besieged by arch villain Moriarty and his gang, they defeat them, by Fanny-Annie dressing up as Holmes and Mrs. H using her rolling pin.

 

 

Premiere run at the Manchester Comedy Festival. Director Gabi Kern

 

 
 

Scripts

Stage

Mrs H of Baker Street

Sherlock Holmes’ landlady is a secret detective. A hit at the 2005 Manchester Comedy Festival.

The Educashun of Charlie

A humorous homage to Charles Dickens’ stories and characters.

The Rent Collector

The amazing life of Lancashire artist LS Lowry.

 

Radio

The Oily Rag:  comedy

Words of Love:  comedy

The Makusha Run:  5 part thriller

Hound of the Baskervilles:  3 part adaptation

The Hall ith Wood Conjuror:  period drama

 

Television

Various sitcom and drama series formats created, including: 

 

Mrs H of Baker St: sitcom with Sherlock Holmes’ landlady a secret detective

The Insiders: a drama serial about financial fraud

The Sanctuary: drama series about a reclusive lady healing animals - and people

School Without a Teacher: a children’s comedy drama in which a robot rules the classroom 

Numerous comedy gag scripts.

 

Screenplays

Island of Steel

Adaptation of a WWII action adventure.

 

Final Prophecy of Nostradamus

Time jumping thriller.

 

My Lady From LA

Romcom loosely based on The Taming of the Shrew

 

Hitwoman

Thriller

 

Bloody Obsession

Black comedy thriller.

 

Family Honour

Comedy thriller.

 

The Visitors

Sci-fi true-life book adaptation.

 

Gobsmacked!

Indie feel-good feature film. Writer and producer.

 

Extras

Brooke Associates: ghost writing books, from children’s stories and memoirs to horror and thrillers

Magazine travel articles, comics, magazine short stories, SF mag short stories, radio short stories

Sauce bottle labels

 

 
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